The good people at the Asylum deliver everything advertised with 2-Headed Shark Attack, a 2012 horror movie that just so happens to feature a shark with two heads. Christopher Ray is the director and the screenplay is by Edward DeRuiter and H. Perry Horton, with cinematography by Stuart Brereton.
In 2-Headed Shark Attack, the bicephalic creature is what it’s all about. In nature, animals develop multiple heads in the same way as conjoined twins. There are several examples of two-headed animals in nature, with a number of two-headed cats, cows, pigs, goats, sheep, snakes, and turtles populating the annals of weird science.
In this outing, Franklin Babish (Charlie O’Connell) has taken his college class out on the Sea King with designs on learning about marine life or navigation or something. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that the students are good-looking. Franklin’s wife (Carmen Electra) is along for the voyage because logic requires her to sunbathe on the boat.
Things go awry when the titular shark crunches down on the Sea King and wrecks the boat. The captain (Morgan Thompson) says she can fix it and recommends the students wait it out on a nearby atoll because the ship is sinking or whatever. The students explore the atoll and the two-headed shark circles, eating people and causing havoc and roaring as sharks do.
The movie attempts some reason to care about the students. There is the blonde Kate (Brooke Hogan), who knows how to fix things and is trying to get over her fear of the water. There is the “nerd” Paul (David Gallegos) and there is the “jock” Cole (Geoff Ward). The latter exhibits the sociopathic ability to leave others to die, but he’s got muscles.
There are others, like the cute girl in the striped bikini (Corinne Nobili) and the other cute girl in the striped bikini and the one in the pink bikini and so on. The guys are rounded out by a gaggle of studs, although they have less to say when they aren’t cheering Cole’s Alpha antics.
It takes a while for the students to realize that the two-headed sharp is munching away, of course. They wander around the atoll in tactical groups, which enables a horny trio to get their groove on in waist-deep water. It also enables 2-Headed Shark Attack to ratify the classic 1970s trope of punishing the sexually active via violent death.
As with other Asylum outings, the dialogue is primarily concerned with exposition. Here it’s up to O’Connell’s character to act like he knows what he’s doing, but he’s constantly upstaged by the know-it-all Paul and even asks his advice when he comes across a half-eaten shark.
Also, the cute one (doesn’t matter who) mentions that the two-headed shark has twice the teeth because it has, uh, the two heads. This stunning observation takes place during a boat race wherein Kate makes a wager with Cole because there’s always a point at which the hot main girl flirts with the hot main douchebag.
The special effects are generally of the poor CGI variety, although there are some neat rubber-ish shots of the shark front and centre. Some of the death scenes are rather funny and O’Connell and Electra play out an endgame scenario when a big wave crashes toward them all dramatically.
Does 2-Headed Shark Attack deliver what it says on the tin? Absolutely. There is a shark, it has two heads, it does attack. There isn’t a lot else to talk about, although I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that I spent a lot of time wondering what the two heads were growling about.