We’re No Angels
We’re No Angels is one of those films that seems like it should do reasonably well and provide for at least moderate amounts of entertainment. With Neil Jordan – who would go on to direct The Crying Game – as the director and David Mamet (The Postman Always Rings Twice, The Verdict) supplying the writing, one would be sure to think that the pedigree for the film’s creation would be promising. Add to that equation the acting talents of Robert De Niro, Sean Penn, and Demi Moore and one may be fooled into thinking that a comic goldmine is on the horizon. One would certainly be wrong for thinking that, sadly.
We’re No Angels was a dud upon its release and not much has changed since. Some De Niro and Mamet purists certainly hold on to this film, without a doubt, but for the rest of us average and more sane folk, this film is certainly a disappointment. We’re No Angels bases itself strictly around the “fish out of water” ideology and frames it with religious imagery and a few bland ethical questions of its characters as it goes along. The idea here is to provide big comic laughs from Penn and De Niro, while giving the film a heart with the performance of Demi Moore and a few other supporting performers. As is typically the case in cookie-cutter comedies of this nature, a lesson is learned towards the happy ending.
This film follows two convicts (De Niro and Penn) as they escape from prison and attempt to make a break for the Canadian border. The two men find refuge in the church and monastery when they are mistaken for two priests. The monastery and all of the monks in it have been waiting for these two priests and the case of mistaken identity is barely given a second look, despite the fact that John C. Reilly’s character notes offhandedly that the two men look “nothing like the picture.” Fair enough, I guess. If blind, deaf, and dumb priests are all it takes to provide comedy gold, sign me up for the laugh train. Along the way, Ned (De Niro) develops a relationship with a townswoman, Molly (Moore) who appears to do anything for money. Molly is the typical hard-luck doubter of religion and through Ned’s actions and words, she finds herself reestablishing her hardline view of religious issues and questions her perceptions. Okay.
We’re No Angels was loosely, loosely, loosely based on the 1955 film of the same name that starred Humphrey Bogart as one of the escaped cons. Mamet’s script takes off from this notion, attempting to plunge the depths for fish out of water gags and jokes, but instead forming such a contrived and annoying script that it becomes unrecognizable as Mamet’s work. Yet, somehow, it is Mamet’s work. Some have given Mamet credit for understanding the dialogue between priests and getting a lot of the religious-oriented dialogue correct, but I would take issue with the over-simplification and the garbled attempts at deep religious discussion by the monks, including one particular segment when John C. Reilly’s character enters and spews a mouth full of nothing towards Sean Penn’s character. Of course, critiquing nonsensical dialogue in a comedy almost seems redundant, but this is David Mamet and most people expect better.
Another problem here is the direction, although I found it to be more capable than many other reviewers. Neil Jordan, let’s be honest here, is a pretty hit-or-miss director. While films like The Crying Game and Mona Lisa garner a lot of praise for the Irishman, there’s no denying that he’s done his fair share of stinkers, like In Dreams or High Spirits, which was his other attempt at comedy before We’re No Angels. While Jordan appears to want to try his hand at comedy, he’s usually not very good at it. He has the gumption, no doubt, but he lacks the style of comedic shooting that creates classic moments and funny sequences. Instead, it’s just blandly directed.
The real problem here, however, and the real reason this ship sinks so ruthlessly to the bottom is the performances of its lead actors. Robert De Niro, one of the most overrated performers alive, simply contorts his face a lot to attempt to dig at the laughs. He rushes lines feverishly as though he’s bored and really misses the beat on any semblance of comic timing. De Niro’s been more hit-or-miss than many people would like to admit and the sad truth about this often great performer is that when he misses, he really misses. We’re No Angels is another example of a De Niro miss and is certainly a gamble for the gifted actor that did not pay off.
Sean Penn, on the other hand, has a more consistent pedigree despite the fact that I just find him unlikeable in a comic sense. Despite demonstrating good comedic skill in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and ballsy resolve in the awful Shanghai Surprise, Penn appears to be the stronger performer here. That’s not saying much, unfortunately, as I found Penn’s character to be annoying and elusive in just about every identifiable way. Yes, he’s an understated character, but to be understated to the point of being imperceptible seemed to be a waste of time. Demi Moore is probably the best performer in the film, which sounds strange to say, but it’s very likely true. She’s feisty and angry as Molly and brings a nice energy to the film, hassling De Niro’s Ned with all she’s got.
We’re No Angels is a real bore of a comedy that misses on all levels. The writing, direction, and performances miss the beat considerably. As a comedy, it’s bland. As a drama, it’s incredibly tepid and ineffectual. And as a film in general, it’s just rather poor. Avoid this one. See the funnier and more entertaining 1990 film Nuns on the Run, starring Eric Idle and Robbie Coltrane, instead of We’re No Angels.
